I loved the work of Robin Williams. I haven’t seen all his films but i’ve seen the majority of them and the ones I saw, I truly loved. He was a comedy genius and beloved by pretty much everyone ever for being a nice guy, a great father and husband, a top Oscar-winning actor and a masterful comedian.
Yet he wasn’t happy. He had a constant battle with depression and publically talked about it on many occasions. Over the years he had drink and drugs problems and was seeking help for those too.
I read an interesting article from Cracked.com yesterday and it really resonated with me. It’s called “Robin Williams and why funny people kill themselves.” Click on it and it will take you to the article.
The reason it resonated with me is this. I was a fat kid. Now I’m a fat adult but I don’t hate myself anymore and I’m doing something about it, so that’s by-the-by. As a kid, I got bullied for being fat and in defence, I became the class joker. This stopped the pain; it made me less of a target, which stopped me from having the shit kicked out of me and my dinner money stolen daily. “Hey, you don’t need dinner money, you fat fuck!”
Being the class joker meant that the people who bullied me moved on to other targets and left me alone. I became popular and turned to roleplaying and acting as a means of escaping who I was in real life too. It helped me; still does. I never harboured suicidal thoughts but I did suffer from depression as a child and into my young adult years. I couldn’t hold down a relationship at all, if I was ever lucky enough to have one of course. The walls I built up round my mind took years of careful chipping before they came down.
This senseless death has affected me even more than the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman, an actor I truly admired and wanted to emulate. Robin Williams’ death has affected me because I can see me in his struggle. I can see all those hurtful comments and difficult times he had reflected in me and in friends I know who also had and continue to have difficult times.
As Robin Williams said in this next video “If you’re that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.”
Robin Williams touched so many with his shining light. He was, without doubt, one of this century’s funniest comedians and most talented actors. If depression and suicide can touch his life, it can touch everyone’s. Rest in Peace, Robin. May you have the peace in death that you so craved in life.
If you feel depressed or suicidal, talk to someone. Your friends, a stranger even. Talk to someone and let them know how you feel. You are not suffering alone and the world would NOT be better off without you. You have friends and family that love you and that respect you and are enriched by your presence.
In the UK you can call The Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90
In the USA you can call 1-800-784-2433
You are not alone. Love to you all.
Damien Gerard 